Inside My Mind
by hawkeye-heart 'n Seoul
Summary: I can't explain it... you'll just have to read it. A twist on Hawkeye's battle against all that Korea throws at him.


A/N- I have no idea where this idea came from. I hope you enjoy it anyway. P.S.- I do not own MASH or Phantom of the Opera I just like messing with the characters

**bold-** narration

normal- thoughts of whoever's pov it is

_ITALIC CAPS- _song lyrics

* * *

Pierce-

The wind howls through the cloth walls of the army tent. A melancholy voice all too well suited to its location. It sends chills down my spine not entirely from the cold.

**The blaring PA joins in, adding an even more desperate and melancholy tone to the night.**

_IN SLEEP HE SANG TO ME_

Even in my dreams, a supposed refuge, I can see their faces. Too young.

_IN DREAMS HE CAME_

There are days when I can't force myself out of my bunk. Days when it'd be too easy to give up. What use is there in patching them up? They're only going to go back. If you can't beat the bastard, join him.

**The PA comes to life again, "Captain Pierce, you're needed in post-op. Captain Pierce, report to post-op."**

_THAT VOICE WHICH CALLS TO ME AND SPEAKS MY NAME_

It's this damn police action. This war. This nightmare.

_AND DO I DREAM AGAIN?_

It's almost funny. Not quite, but if you're drunk and cynical, you can find humor in it.

The thing causes so much damage in this god-forsaken place and for families back home and yet it remains intangible. Oh, you can see it in the faces of the soldiers, in their wounds, and even in the uninjured it's in their eyes. You can feel its coils of poison twining through the camp, through this entire country, but it cannot be stopped. It's a phantom without the transparency, but your hand still passes through it.

**Despite the frantic efforts of the doctor, the young man in bed 5 stops breathing.**

_FOR NOW I FIND, THE PHANTOM OF KOREA IS HERE…_

We all do our best to keep it at bay. We fight it not only for the soldiers with our scalpels and plasma IV's; we fight for ourselves with poker games, cross-dressing, practical jokes, and booze. Some succeed. I'm not so sure I'm that lucky.

**Later, Captain Pierce is found outside with tears rolling down his cheeks and a haunted look in his eyes.**

…_INSIDE MY MIND_

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Phantom-

You've been here a long time, Captain. We know each other well.

**A new announcement accompanied by the sound of choppers, "All medical units to OR. Incoming wounded."**

_SING ONCE AGAIN WITH ME…_

You may not like to hear it, but I've enjoyed working with you. It's rare in these times to see one so dedicated, so passionate, in their attempts to stop me. It's not every doctor who can work so closely with me, maintain their righteous anger, and survive.

**Captain Pierce fixes all his concentration on the boy on his table. BP and pulse are falling rapidly, Pierce frantically urges the boy to hold on. "Don't let the bastard win."**

…_OUR STRANGE DUET_

I have to admit. You've held on longer than most. With your past it's not all that surprising; after all, you've known me from a young age. I believe you were ten, were you not?

Oh, well. They all break sooner or later. Especially if, like you, they don't like to admit defeat.

**He desperately tries to hold it together. It's one more death. The end of one more battle, but not the end of the war. There are more waiting. "Father Mulcahy, over here. Next patient."**

_MY POWER OVER YOU GROWS STRONGER YET_

However, you are infuriatingly good at keeping up morale. Just when I've almost got the camp where I want it, you waltz in with Groucho glasses and flippers.

**Captain Pierce is silent only a few moments after the trauma. He cuts through the tension with his songs and pickup lines as skillfully as he handles a scalpel. **

_AND THOUGH YOU TURN FROM ME TO GLANCE BEHIND…_

But how good are you at boosting your own spirits, eh? How long before the armor cracks and the war gets in? The nightmares are there, already. The weariness is there, already. Despair will follow soon after, and I'll be lurking behind her.

**He'd never admit it to himself, but it was an act. Everything he did in OR and around camp was for the others. He chased the nurses who were lonely, in need of comfort and praise. He wore the robe and cowboy hat for everyone's general amusement. He quipped and joked to dull the pain for everyone else. Underneath it all, it never helped him. If they'd looked close enough, they might have seen that the light in his eyes never lit up anymore.**

_THE PHANTOM OF KOREA IS THERE, INSIDE YOUR MIND_

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Pierce-

It never gets any easier. Seeing the battle-weary kids. Only seventeen or eighteen, eyes dead before the body ever got the chance to live.

**The dark-haired surgeon watches anxiously from across post-op as Sidney talks to yet another patient.**

_THOSE WHO HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE DRAW BACK IN FEAR_

The worst part is the parents back home aren't going to blame the phantom. I suppose that's the benefit of being a phantom, you never have to take the credit.

They'll get the letter.

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So,_

_we regret to inform you that your son Little So-and-So died in a MASH unit from such-and-such, blah, blah, blah, great honor, service to his country, blah, blah, blah, you should be proud of him._

They'll get a letter, and they'll blame the president, they'll blame the country, they'll blame the North Koreans, and they'll blame me. They'll blame the army doctor who they think didn't carry whether their son lived or died. They'll blame the doctor who didn't do enough to keep their little soldier alive. They'll blame the man that gets to serve the war behind the lines, the man that will get to go home when their boy didn't.

**Captain Pierce signs his name to yet another letter. A letter he hopes will mean something more than the mass produced form letter from the Army. Just another letter to yet another family that now has a name to place their blame on.**

_I AM THE MASK YOU WEAR…_

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Phantom-

All over Korea, there're screams in the dark. Nightmares are plentiful and I invade them all. Because of you're influence, Captain, your unit is abnormally quiet. Except for you. Whether you like it or not, you may fight me when you wake, but when you wake the camp with your cries, I make you my reluctant ally.

_IT'S ME THEY HEAR…_

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Pierce-

I wake up screaming more often than not. Even when I don't, I find a cry stuck in my throat, tears rolling down my face, or my mouth open in a silent scream. It's been like that ever since Sidney made me remember. He says I'll be ready to go back to camp in a few days. He hopes to help me cut down on the nightmares before then.

**The camp is quiet during the day. At night though, bone chilling screams echo from the storage building. Captain Pierce had moved there in an attempt to let everyone else sleep undisturbed. If anything, though, it made it worse. The solid sides blocked some of the sound, but not all. What was left was a low hollow echo of a familiar panicked and fear-ridden voice that blended with the howling wind.**

YOUR_ SPIRIT AND MY VOICE IN ONE COMBINED_

**The war ended. The Phantom loosened his hold slightly on Korea, but he held tight to all those who had been there during the war.**

_THE PHANTOM OF KOREA IS THERE, INSIDE MY MIND_

**Daniel Pierce watched as his son stared blankly at the wall of his room. This wasn't the boy he'd entrusted to the Army. They took him, used him up and sent him back. He'd given them Hawkeye, and he'd gotten back Captain Pierce. **

**This wasn't the man he'd known before Korea. This man was too old, too broken, too defeated. This man was too well acquainted with Death.**

_HE'S THERE, THE PHANTOM OF KOREA…_


End file.
